ABC, die Katze lief im Schnee
by Zoe Montrose
Summary: A drabble for each letter of the alphabet, following the life of young!Ludwig and BigBrother!Gilbert T because I am paranoid
1. Chapter 1

**Note:** _Hey people, guess who got a new laptop after the last one imploded and has lost all her files?  
Exactly, this fella here. So to get back into the mood of writing I will now try a couple of drabbles about the life of young!Ludwig and BigBrother!Gilbert. Have fun _

_**ABC**_

* * *

 **Abendessen***

Gilbert didn't really know what the thing on his plate was supposed to be, but he knew what he was supposed to _do_ with it _._ And the beaming face opposite of him at the other side of the table left no space for negotiations. Oh dear lord, have mercy.

He lifted a fork full of something that might have once been scrambled eggs to his lips and swallowed without chewing, to not give the flavour a chance of reaching his taste buds. Still he had to supress a shudder afterwards.

"It's… good. Thank you, Ludwig. But maybe you'll let the cook make dinner again in the future? Otherwise having a cook would be pointless, wouldn't it be?"

There was a hint of disappointment in the blue eyes of his little brother and Gilbert quickly shoved another load of _it_ into his mouth to soothe him. He'd rather have an upset stomach than an upset Ludwig.

 **Bath**

Ludwig huffed and crossed his little arms over his chest, glaring at his naked feet which were sinking into the big red carpet in his brother's office.

"But I don't want to. I took a bath just yesterday. See, I'm not even dirty." He lifted his arms up high into the air and turned around, blinking his blue eyes at his brother over his shoulder.

Gilbert raised a brow sceptically.

"And have you washed behind your ears, yesterday?"

"…no."

"Well guess who's going to take a bath right now!" He scooped the little blond into his arms and set him on his shoulders. Pudgy little fingers tugged on his hair – not too hard, Ludwig was always careful, even when pouting – and small legs kicked around.

"But I don't want to!"

"Do you want to play with the boat?"

The tugging stopped, legs stilled. Hesitating silence. Temptation. Gilbert wouldn't ever let him play with the boat…

"…yes."

"To play with the boat, you'll need water, right? What's an awesome ship without an awesome ocean to rule?" Silence, Gilbert turned his head upwards and smirked in triumph at the calculating look on Ludwig's face. Ah sweet, sweet victory. "Am I right?"

"I guess..."

Forty minutes later a drenched Gilbert leaned over a grinning Ludwig.

"You get out of there!"

"But I don't want to."

 **Cake**

"But Gilbert, I thought the cake was for when Eliza and Cousin Roderich come over?" Ludwig's small hands were fisted into the sleeves of his shirt, his thumb inside of his fist. Gilbert had given up on telling him to stop doing that.

"So? We'll bake a new one tomorrow."

"We? You'll let me help you bake?" Excitedly he shuffled closer, glancing over his shoulder like a boy who was caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Well, somehow he was.

"Sure. And then the cake will be even more awesome then this one, since it's me and you combined. But that'd mean that it would be too good for the prissy-… for Roderich again so we can eat two cakes. I'll have Margarte buy a new one."

"If you don't take your hand away from that cake this instance, Gilbert Beilschmidt, so help me God, but I will beat you to the bakery and back!", sounded a voice from the doorway leading to the kitchen.

Ludwig shrieked again, jumping forward into Gilbert who grabbed what was left of the cake in one hand, his brother's hand in the other, and ran to escape the wrath that was their middle aged housekeeper. He was sure that woman could crunch him with his bare hands!

Cake tasted the best anyway when shared between brothers who hid in a dusty closet in the basement.

 **Duties**

Gilbert glanced over his pristine uniform in the mirror for one last time, then turned to retrieve his helmet from his nightstand. Where he had placed it the night before. Where it now was not anymore.

"Shit!" He had to be gone in ten minutes and while he didn't mind pissing off his king he didn't feel in the mood for an hour long scolding. How lucky that he had an idea who the culprit might have been.

"Ludwig?" Gilbert stuck his head out of his room's door and glanced up and down the empty hallway.

A faint shuffle near the window.

"Ludwig." He lowered his voice, softened it. He knew, a too fast approach would make his little brother flee.

Gilbert wandered down the hall and pushed the curtain aside and looked down on the bundled up boy in the corner, chubby arms and drawn up legs holding his helmet captive. He held his head low, refused to look at Gilbert, but the Prussian didn't need to see his face to know he was pouting.

"Ludwig, you know I need to go." The small body curled tighter around the helmet. "We've talked about it, I'll be back in no time and while I'm gone Ida will look after you." A low mumble, tainted with stubbornly held back tears.

"Pardon?"

With a low 'clunk' the helmet landed on the ground and small arms wrapped tightly around his neck instead, a wet face pressing into his skin. Ludwig didn't speak and Gilbert wound his arms around the small body, lifting him up and leaning against the window with him.

He needed to be gone in ten minutes… An hour long scolding couldn't be that bad.

 _To be continued..._

* * *

 **Note:** _The song I used for this is a German nursery rhyme that goes  
ABC, die Katze lief im Schnee.  
Und als sie dann nach Hause kam, da hat sie weiße Stiefel an.  
ABC, die Katze lief im Schnee._

 _Translation: ABC, the cat walks through the snow.  
And as she arrives home she's wearing white boots.  
ABC, the cat walks through the snow. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Die Katze lief im Schnee**

* * *

 **Easter**

Ludwig parted the leaves of the blooming willow and crouched down to get underneath the branches, bright blue eyes scanning the dry earth surrounding the willow's trunk. A disappointed frown appeared on his face at the absence of any kind of toy or candy to be put into his little wooden basket.

He came crawling back and pouted, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at his feet. This was stupid! He hadn't found anything yet and his lower lip had begun to tremble dangerously.

Gilbert, who had been watching Ludwig's hunt for Easter toys or eggs from the veranda rubbed his neck sheepishly. Maybe he shouldn't have hidden them _that_ hard.

"Ludwig, I'm quite sure I saw the Easter bunny hide some over there." He called out to his brother and pointed into the general direction of the birch trees where he had hidden a larger Easter nest a bit higher up.

Ludwig listlessly picked up his basket, pout still evident on his lips, but his eyes were firmly set on the birch trees now, determined to find his Easter treats. He searched around their trunks, in the small bushes scattered around them, he even stuck his head down the fox's den. No luck.

And then, just when he let himself fall back on his bottom to pout some more, he saw it. Lodged firmly in between the higher branches of the birch, he spied the colourful piece of fabric belonging to an Easter nest.

"I found it! Big brother, I found it!"

Gilbert smirked, strolling closer to watch Ludwig scramble to his feet and round the tree to make out the best way to climb and reach it.

"You did, didn't you? See? I told you, awesome little boys like you get the most awesome of Easter presents! And you know what?" Gilbert placed his hands firmly around Ludwig's waist and lifted him up, setting him down in between the branches. "The Easter bunny told me that there'll be more in the house!"

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Ludwig placed his treasure in his basket and held his arms out to be put back down. Once back on his own two feet he grabbed Gilbert's hand and dragged him into the direction of the meadow, new determination burning in his eyes.

"Big brother?"

"Ja?"

"I know that you are the Easter bunny."

"Wha… what? What are you talking about?"

"I love this anyway."

"Oh…"

"Big brother?"

"…Ja?"

"I love you, as well."

 **Fear**

Fear wasn't something Gilbert would admit to having ever felt. He would say that he was the bravest, never felt even a shiver or tremble of fright or even worry, not on the battlefield, not in the face of his darkest nightmare.

But that moment when he turned around and found the spot where Ludwig had previously been standing to be deserted, it gripped his heart in an ice cold hold and squeezed.

"Ludwig?" His voice wasn't waving, it wasn't! "LUDWIG?" Frantically turning his head from one side to the other Gilbert marched back down the street they had come from, always in the hope of catching even the slightest of hints of blond hair.

His heart began to beat faster, sweat tickled down his neck. He pushed past people in a daze, shouting his brother's name at the top of his lungs.

Oh Gott, what if the boy had gotten himself in trouble? What if he had been kidnapped? Had been run over by one of the carriages? Had they always been this fast and unmindful before? Or maybe he had wandered off and now was alone and cold and hungry, calling for him?

Gilbert turned, one hand tangling in the mess of white curls. How could he lose a boy as obedient as Ludwig? He'd only turned around once!

"LUDWIG!" He stormed back to the shop he had been in before, desperately searching through the alleys and every store Ludwig had shown even an ounce of interest in before. Nothing.

And he was growing more and more frantic the more time passed.

The sun was setting by the time he had to make a break, his hair plastered to his forehead, ruby eyes wide and wild. He must have been quite the sight for the people passing by.

He couldn't continue searching in the dark, there would be even less of a chance of him finding Ludwig. Poor, little, scared Ludwig. He had to find him! He'd return home to change into something warmer and to get himself a lantern, then he'd continue searching.

With his shoulders sagging and eyes only kept open by the pure adrenaline still cursing through his veins, he marched through the streets back to the brick building he had bought rented to show Ludwig the big city.

The sight that met him almost made him break down and cry.

There, curled into a tiny ball in the corner of the doorway sat a little bundle, only tuffs of blond hair still peeking out from the coat he had wrapped around himself. Gott, of course. Ludwig was a clever boy, of course he would go home!

Gilbert didn't remember how but he found himself holding his brother tightly to his chest, staring into sleep laden blue eyes and pressing his forehead against his.

"Ludwig! Ludwig, Gott, Ludwig." He murmured the name again and again, held the boy to his chest and rocked them both from side to side.

"Gil?" He felt small hands on his cheeks.

"Why are you crying?"

Gilbert laughed and leaned his face into his brother's hands, cuddling him closer. "Because I was scared."

"Scared?"

"Yeah, scared. Gott, Ludwig! I love you!"

 **Gender**

"Gilbert?"

Gilbert glanced up from his boring book, more than happy to let himself be distracted. And by his favourite little brother anyway.

"Ja?"

Ludwig fiddled with his sleeve, biting on his lower lip and shying away from eye contact.

"You and the maids… you do… things together. At night, I mean. Ja?" Ludwig looked up for a mere second, face burning up to his ears.

Gilbert felt a smirk tug at the corner of his lips. Oh was it time for the birds and the bees already?

"Yeah. Yeah we do."

A pink tongue flickered out to wet his lips, and the boy shuffled around nervously. Not exactly odd, but the fear and uncertainty he had seen in his eyes in that split second were. His smirk slowly vanished.

"Everything alright, Kleiner?" Another shy glance up.

"Why the maids?" Oh, was it one of his moments of childish jealousy? So cute.

"Lutz, that isn't something brothers can do with each other and-…"

"I know that. But why the maids? Why not the… the servants? Why not… not Markus, for example. I like Markus." Ludwig brought his hands in front of his chest and tugged on his suspenders. "And he's pretty, ja? I think Markus is pretty."

And suddenly, after a heavy pause, Ludwig looked up at him, so much rare fear in his eyes, and a barrage of words broke out of his lips, tainted by upset tears. "I think Markus is pretty a-and nobody else thinks boys are pretty, Gil!" He sniffed and wiped his nose on his sleeve. "I-is that bad, Gil? A-am I…" he hiccupped, broke himself off. "Is that wrong?"

Gilbert placed his book to the side and quickly knelt down in front of the upset boy, taking his face into his hands and shushing him with a chuckle.

"Don't be stupid, Ludwig. Of course it isn't wrong. I mean, you are the second most awesome person I know, how could something you feel ever be wrong?" He pressed a kiss to his brother's forehead and wiped his tears away with a rough thumb.

"How could a feeling be wrong, hmm? Love can't ever be wrong, right?"

The boy was still hiccupping, clearly upset and confused. But that was alright. Ludwig still had time to figure it all out and Gilbert would be there every step of the way.

 **Heaven**

Gilbert spread the blanket out across the grass and grinned to himself, flinging himself down on it and reaching into the wicker basket for one of the sandwiches.

"Gilbert! Don't! You promised we'd play tag before we eat!" With a soft sigh his hand retreated and he groaned, rolling onto his back and craning his neck to stare at Ludwig.

"Do we have to?" A huff and a hand tugging on his own.

"Come on!" Ludwig whined and tugged again before slumping down on his stomach, landing on top of Gilbert's chest who groaned again at the added weight.

"Alright, alright. We'll play tag. Get off, you heavy little beast."

"No." Gilbert was sure he could hear a smirk in Ludwig's voice as he ruffled a hand through his hair, then let it settle down on his neck.

They quieted down, Gilbert enjoying the sun on his face and the sound of birds chirping in the trees above them. Soon the noise of deep breaths and light snores joined.

Cracking an eye open he looked down at the blond on his chest, curled against his body and fast asleep.

Ah… With a broad grin he let his head flop back. Heaven could wait, for all he cared. He thought this was pretty damn perfect!

 _To be continued..._

* * *

 **Note:** _Thank you for reading. If you have any requests for letters aka drabbles, write it into the reviews._

 _Please R &R~_


	3. Chapter 3

**Note:** _I am switching between Human and Nation AU, I'm sorry I haven't mentioned it before._

 _Have fun~_

 **Und als sie dann nach Hause kam...**

* * *

 **Illness**

"But you promised!"

Gilbert guilty smiled down at Ludwig. He knew he had promised, since weeks, but playing today would be sheer impossible. His head hurt with every little movement and he couldn't breathe through his nose while heavy coughs wrecked his body every so often and his body ached as if his age had finally caught up to him.

"I know. ''m really so'y, Lud…" he muttered and dragged the blankets up a little higher.

Ludwig seemed angry and disappointed for a second longer, then resignation crossed his face. Gilbert didn't know which one was worse. Shoulders sagging the boy looked away.

Then all of a sudden, he jerked up, face alight with a grin. "I have an idea!"

And gone he was.

Gilbert was left to wonder in silence, frowning his brows at the door to his room left ajar. The boy better not had anything naughty planned!

He wasn't left to wait for too long. Ludwig came running back, excitement radiating off of his entire being, a wooden suitcase hitting against his thigh with every rushing step.

"I'll nurse you back to health and then we can play!" He panted, cheeks flushed after the short sprint to his room and back.

Gilbert recognised the suitcase with mild amusement as the one he had given Ludwig for his last birthday, a replica of the medic's kit, full with wooden instruments. He had been inspired by the mere amazement his brother had shown towards the medic's equipment. It appeared as it if would serve a good cause now.

"If you thi'khis you can do tha'."

Ludwig pushed his chest out proudly.

"Of course I can! You'll see! And then you'll have to be thankful and we'll play tag and hide and seek all day."

The boy clambered onto the bed, rocking Gilbert's body in the process which in return prodded a moan from the elder's lips. Ludwig appeared to be guilty enough to look sheepish for a moment, then his face became determined again. And then the worst torture of Gilbert's entire life began.

The actual medic saved him an hour later with his arrival.

His knee was bruised from the wooden tendon hammer being repeatedly smashed against it, his lungs which had been screaming for air the entire time Ludwig had spent kneeling atop them were even rawer now, his headache was close to killing him and thanks to Ludwig's brilliant idea of 'the patient has to be bare so I can see every reaction to my examination' had left him a shivering mess.

"I think we should let your brother sleep now, Ludwig." The medic had the nerve to look amused at the sight of the state Gilbert was in and it was only the fact that the albino was currently buried underneath a 50-pound boy lying spread out across his body because 'body heat will help you'll see!' that he didn't attack the poor man.

"But he needs me! I need to nurse him! And he's already feeling better, right? And afterwards we can play, right?" Excited blue eyes looked down at him.

"I'm sure, Ludwig. But for Gilbert to become all better again he needs to sleep now."

A pout flickered across the blonde's lips.

"Does that mean we can play after the nap?"

"Sure you can."

A grin replaced the pout and Ludwig climbed down from the bed, gathering his wooden toys, chest still pushed out proudly. If it weren't for the pains currently killing him, Gilbert might have thought it cute. At the door, Ludwig stopped again to look at him.

"We _will_ play after your nap, ja? I made you feel better, ja?"

Gilbert used whatever strength was left to sit up and grin.

"Of course! I'm feeling as good as new!"

"Great!" The door closed with a little click and Gilbert flopped back down, face pulled into a grimace and glaring helplessly at the ceiling.

"Kill me now…!"

 **Jealousy**

"And then she and me, we went home, though she had to leave early. But you could see she was impressed by those muscles," Gilbert bragged and laughed in his own crackled way, slamming his empty beer mug on the oak table.

"Ah, mon ami, that was mostly because she was even drunker than you were. And you could barely walk."

"Now you are confusing me with yourself, Francis. I'm awesome, I don't get drunk from a little beer!"

"A little? Amigo, you had eight!"

"Same difference."

The three men at the table were too engrossed in their friendly bickering to notice the small boy approaching them shyly, glancing over his shoulder at the other patrons in the bar. It acquired the tugging of small hands on a red cape and a good kick against the chair's leg to gain their attention. Gilbert almost dropped his mug.

"Ludwig? What the-… What are you doing here? Didn't I tell you to not come to places like this? It's dangerous!" Gilbert made an apologetic gesture into his friends' direction as he regarded his brother sternly while slipping off his seat, crouching down to the boy's eye level. An unintelligible mumble followed.

"Pardon?"

Big blue eyes met his own.

"I lost Fleckie*. I-I cannot find him anyway. You have to help me find him!"

Fleckie going missing, Ludwig's most prized possession in the form of a white stuffed dog dotted with black spots and his companion to every and all places, was damn close to the worst thing that could happen to the blond, Gilbert knew that much. It had happened once before and had ended in a two-hour long search including the guards, servants and maids while he tried to calm down a hysteric Ludwig. Gilbert paled.

"Guys? I gotta go. Emergency. See you next week?" Gilbert didn't wait for a reply as he tossed some coins on the table, lifted Ludwig onto his shoulders and hurried out of the bar.

Fleckie wasn't to be found. Not in the garden, not in the kitchen, not in the basement, dinner room, living room, bathroom or entrance hall. Not even in the damn attic. Sure, Ludwig wasn't even allowed in the attic, but it was worth a try.

Gilbert crawled back out from underneath the boiler and shook his head.

"Not here either. Are you sure you didn't leave him outside? While you went to the market with Lise in the morning?" A mute shake of a blond head. Ludwig had stayed surprisingly tear-free throughout the hunt, even after several hours during which he had been glued to his side, either demanding to be carried or to hold his hand. Gilbert blamed it on the loss of his stuffed animal.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, pulling a face at the cobwebs tangled in it.

"I'm sorry, Ludwig. We looked everywhere, but he can't seem to be found." He crouched down again, messing up the carefully combed blond locks in a pathetic try to appease his brother.

"It's late. We'll continue tomorrow and if we don't find him I'll take you to the store and you can choose a new one, alright?"

A brave nod. And no tears, still. Ah, maybe Ludwig was beginning to grown out of the cry-baby-age? Somehow, Gilbert thought that was a sad thing. He thought it was pretty adorable. Especially since Ludwig always became all clingy when he was crying.

The walk back to their bedrooms was filled with an awful lot of shifting around on his little brother's side though, and the idea that something was amiss slowly began to rise. But he kept quiet, poor boy had just lost his favourite toy, no wonder that he was behaving oddly.

He helped him change and brush his teeth, then tucked him in and because he felt bad that he hadn't managed to find Fleckie he read him a story. All the while Ludwig was silent.

Then when he finally stood to leave he felt a meek little tug on his sleeve.

"Gil?" Ludwig's eyes were far too guilty for a boy who had lost his favourite toy. The nagging suspicion returned, though paired with slight amusement.

"Ja?"

Ludwig bit into his lower lip and looked away, mumbling something into the collar of his sleeping gown. Gilbert didn't have to ask for a repeating of the words though as his little brother crawled out from under the blanket and reached under his pillow. Gilbert leaned back and raised both brows at the sight of a worn white stuffed dog with black spots being pulled out from underneath.

"I… I didn't lose him." Ludwig clutched the toy tightly to his chest and drew his legs up, shying away from eye contact.

"Then why make me search?" Gilbert couldn't find it within him to be angry at the bundle sitting in front of his, lower lip stuck out and trembling. There, that was his cry-baby.

"I d-don't like it w-when you co-come home drunk and… and you are _always_ together with Francis and Antonio a-and I _miss_ you!"

The albino sighed and gathered his brother into his arms, stroking his back up and down until he had calmed down enough for him to speak again without hiccupping.

"You aren't mad?", came the small whisper from within the hollow at his throat where Ludwig had buried his face.

"Nah, you are too cute. But you know, next time you are jealous just come to me and tell me you want to have some of my awesome time. And I'll come to your rescue immediately." He bumped his nose against his and kissed his forehead, stroking some strands of his hair out of his forehead.

"Now, off to bed you and Fleckie go, ja?"

"Ja…"

"Gut."

"…big brother?"

"Ja?"

"I wasn't jealous!"

"Sure you weren't."

 **Kindness**

"Can I have a thaler*?" Gilbert set the fabric he had been holding in his hands back down and looked at his brother, who shifted around underneath the tailor's scrutinizing eyes. The boy could sit still for hours when reading, but when it came to having his measurements taken he couldn't stand in the same spot for even a minute.

"An entire thaler? That's a lot, Lud, what would you need that for?" It wasn't that much but Ludwig usually wasn't a child that asked for money, and Gilbert found the request a bit odd. Especially since his brother knew not to buy himself anything this close to Christmas.

"I need it."

"But what for?"

"I need it!" Ludwig climbed down from the tailor's stool when the man was done and stared up at his brother, big blue eyes round and begging.

"Please, it's important. It's very, very important. I need a thaler." Gilbert furrowed his brows but reached into his coat's inner pocket, letting one golden thaler drop into Ludwig's outstretched hand. If the boy was that insistent it really had to be important.

"Don't you waste it."

"I won't, I promise!"

The albino watched his brother almost stumble over his own two feet as he raced through the stuffed shop to one of the shelves with winter wares, standing on his tip toes to reach up for a pair of gloves. They were big, at least double the size of Ludwig's hands, and filled with soft fur, worth at least five thaler. Gilbert's frown deepened.

"What is that going to be when it's done?"

Ludwig turned with a stubborn pout, clutching the pair of gloves tightly to his chest.

"I need them!" And with that he marched to the counter, pushed them as far over it as he could reach and placed the thaler next to it. The tailor and Gilbert exchanged a look and Gilbert nodded to signal he'd pay the rest. If they were that important to Ludwig…

The rest of their stay proceeded uneventfully, though Ludwig refused to give any more of an explanation regarding the gloves he kept pressed to his body as if scared they would be taken away from him again. Gilbert gave up on the thought of trying to coax the truth from him.

By the time they left it had begun to snow again, big flocks covering the town in a blanket of white silence. Only a few people were out and about, the rest stayed inside to warm themselves in front of their fireplaces.

The two brothers stopped at a bakery after Ludwig insisting that he was hungry and no, it would not wait until they were home, because of reasons. So laden with their bags from the tailor, paper bags from the bakery and Ludwig's gloves which he refused to put into any of the bags and carried in his hands they continued.

They didn't get too far before they had to stop again. Ludwig appeared to be glued to his spot and as much as Gilbert loved his little brother, he was beginning to feel a bit annoyed.

"What is it, now?"

The blond was staring at something and chewing on his lower lip, a nervous habit he had caught up somewhere. Gilbert followed his eyes with his own.

There, sitting against the brick wall of some store, halfway hidden underneath a moth eaten blanket and covered in a layer of snow sat an old man, his hat which he had laid out before himself to beg for some change empty except for snow. Gilbert remembered seeing him on the way to the tailor already.

By his side Ludwig took a tentative step forward. Then another, shyly approaching the man, his knuckles white from the grip he had on the gloves. Gilbert began to understand.

He watched with soft eyes how Ludwig knelt down next to the homeless man and touched his shoulder, holding the gloves and the bag filled with still warm _Schinkenbrötchen_ * out to him.

Gilbert joined him from behind, placed his hands on his slim shoulders and gently moved him away from the man.

"Oh Ludwig…" he mumbled softly. The man hadn't breathed anymore the first time they had passed him by.

He let Ludwig cry on his shoulder as he carried him back to their house, gloves and food tucked away safely in his coat's pocket. He would make sure they brought flowers the next time they passed by that spot.

 **Language**

Gilbert made sure to lock the door behind him this time.

"Alright Ludwig. That's it." He ground out, teeth gritted. He just had to chase his brother through most of the house and all of the garden, had ruined his favourite shirt by toppling and falling chest down into the fresh earth and had banged his head against one of the wooden doors.

Ludwig blinked his eyes ever so innocently.

"You are going to learn French! If you like it or not!"

"But it's stupid!"

"Do you want to become a strong and independent nation?"

"…ja."

"Then you'll have to learn French! It's the language spoken at court!" Ludwig furrowed his brows and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Why can't they speak German at the court? Or English? I like English." He hopped down from his seat and Gilbert made sure to lean against the door. He wouldn't go for another chase.

"International affairs don't work that way, Ludwig. They don't care about what you like."

The blond plopped down on the windowsill and peered down through the window. Too high. He glared unhappily and crossed his arms again.

"But I don't like the French."

"Well I don't care." Ludwig looked at him over his shoulder, a calculating expression on his face before it broke out into a grin.

"Oh I know! We are going to invade France and then we'll forbid French!" Gilbert sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"That's not how things work. You can't simply invade another country because you don't like them."

"But you do that all the time with Cousin Roderich…"

"That's something entirely different!"

 _To be continued..._

* * *

 **Note:** _1.* Fleckie literally means Spottie. As in 'spotted dog'.  
2_ _.* Thaler were large coins used in Germanic countries during the 15-19th centuries_

 _I don't mean to offend the French or anyone else, but regarding the German-French relationship this was the only reaction I could see Ludwig having to being forced to learn French._

 _Thank you for reading and Please R &R~_


	4. Chapter 4

**Da hat sie weiße Stiefel an…**

* * *

 **Message**

Gilbert greedily tore open the letter, hands trembling ever so slightly as he tugged out page after page of thin parchment covered in a small and curly handwriting, scrawls and scratchy ends betraying the author's true age despite the mature look of the penmanship. Detailed writings of days he was no longer part of, a life that he clung to that now for years had not been shared with him. Not independently, no, by far not. Between every word and sentence, between every line and carefully placed letter he could read the love and adoration still blooming in a young heart, could read the desperate longing to be back. To be home.

A word written in every letter. Home. Carelessly tossed into a childish sentence, a recording of a daily story. Home. Hidden between meaningless babbling that followed the need catch up with him. But always so heavy, so much implied behind that word. Home.

Gilbert had to admit he was proud of him. So very young, yet so much of a great mind already. So much intelligence to imply so much meaning into a word. Home. A word he had not known himself until… No, he had known the word. But he had not truly understood it until the first time he woke up to a giggle in his ear and a body right there who's love for him was so different to everything he had ever experienced. And even then, he had not fully understood. Only with the loss of home did he learn to cherish it.

And as much as he wanted to read the letters right there, wanted to greedily slather his hands over the thin parchment in a senseless hope to catch lingering warmth from smaller hands that had held those same letters, wanted to engrave every word into his very being, right there, right there in the post station, drenched wet and cold and shaking…

…He didn't. Instead Gilbert carefully folded them again after a glance and with tender care returned them into the envelope, trembling fingers lingering on the envelope.

No, those words, no matter how simple, deserved to be read in comfort and love. Deserved to be cherished and caressed in a safe place, stored away in care. They had to be. Had to fill the void of laughter and games and play pretend, had to substitute for the warm heaviness in his arms and the pounding in his heart. Had to, had to.

Gilbert pushed past the line of waiting people, stored the letter into his coat's inner pocket after a last gentle caress and draped the cape over his pale head to shield it against the rain.

It would be those letters that Gilbert gave the tailor to sew into the hem of his cape, those letters that he'd hold close to his heart in the heat of battle, those letters that he'd read in camp and that would fuel his determination. It would be those letters Gilbert would knead in anxiety in 1814 during the Congress of Vienna. Those letters in hand he'd sneer in victory at France, a twinkle of worry and excitement in his eyes betraying the true emotions he felt.

It would be those letter's he dropped to catch a small boy flying his way with laughter and games and play pretend, to be warm heaviness in his arms and a pounding in his heart.

 **Nightmare**

Ludwig.

Where was Ludwig?

Gilbert was aware somewhere at the edge of his consciousness that he was running through a burning city, that somewhere he could hear soldiers yelling and screaming. He knew that something important had just happened, something that would change him forever.

But he couldn't concentrate, couldn't focus on anything but the need to find Ludwig.

And then there was a man with a blood dripping sword standing above a young boy. And suddenly that young boy was the one with the sword and he was laughing and crying and his eyes had the colour of ice and Gilbert needed to find Ludwig Ludwig Ludwig!

Gilbert shot awake with a jolt as his hands searched the bed in a frantic haste, gasping in throat clogging fear, tear blinded eyes useless, until he remembered that Ludwig had his own room now, until he remembered that he had brought Ludwig to bed that evening, had read him a fairy tale and had kissed his forehead goodnight.

A shuddering breath turned into a sob. While the dream faded quickly from his mind the shock remained and so did the urgent need to find Ludwig. This time for his sake rather than Ludwig's.

The door to his baby brother's room squeaked ever so softly as Gilbert entered, red eyes glued to the small figure lying motionlessly in the too big four poster bed. Ludwig looked so fragile wrapped around his stuffed dog like that, curled up into a small ball that occupied more of the pillow than the actual mattress. So tiny.

The lump in his throat started to dissolve.

Gilbert took a seat at the edge of the bed to comb a trembling hand through feather light blond hair. The little body moved in a deep breath, eyelids fluttering without opening and Gilbert stilled his actions in favour of silently watching Ludwig sleep. His heavy heartbeat calmed down, the last remains of fear turning into deep affection. The lump dissolved completely.

His Ludwig was safe and warm right there with him.

No time was spent on hesitation as Gilbert swung his legs over the side of the bed and crawled under the covers next to the boy, drawing him into his arms and resting his own head atop his so he could bury his face into fluffy blond strands and feel the small yet strong heartbeat of another.

They were safe and warm and right there with each other.

And Gilbert would not allow for anything to change that.

 **Origin**

"Gilbert, I have been thinking!"

Gilbert had to bite his tongue to not respond with 'do you ever do something else' because he was sure the only thing it would gain him was a pout and a glare and maybe the silent treatment for an hour, so instead he set down his pen and turned in his seat to give his brother his full attention.

The boy was frowning again and Gilbert had to resist the urge to reach forward and smooth out his brow for him because really it made him look way too old and Gilbert was not comfortable being confronted with Ludwig getting older.

"Where do we come from?"

That actually made the albino halt completely for a second, mind going blank as he contemplated telling the boy about the 'birds and the bees'. After all he was a good 20 human years old…

"You see, Ludwig, when a man and a woman really love each other, they-…"

An impatient movement of his small hand, reminding Gilbert almost painfully of his Lieutenant scolding a soldier for a stupid answer.

"I know about sex, Gilbert!" Ludwig's voice was reprimanding, the frown deepening into a dangerous scowl until the boy seemed to change his mind about being angry. Instead he puffed up his cheeks and turned to look at the world map Gilbert had hung above his office desk displaying all the discovered continents and fading into white where the lands had not yet been seen by eyes like theirs.

"I mean… Where do we nations come from? Do we have a Mama and Papa like humans do? How… how do we get born if not?" Gilbert watched the young boy for a long while, silently pondering if he should inquire as to where Ludwig had learned about sex. But then again, his question was too important to get pushed aside for something he could easily pick up again at a later time so he instead picked him up and set him down in his lap.

"Ah… something most of us want to know one day." He hummed and had to admit to himself that with him it had taken centuries before he had even had an interest in knowing where he came from. He hadn't ever questioned his existence, hadn't ever bothered to learn about what had been before.

"You know what we are, right, Ludwig?" He leaned back in his office chair, the wood digging uncomfortably into his back but he didn't care about that because Ludwig was relaxing in his lap and snuggling up to him.

"We are the personification of the people living within the borders of our country, obedient to our ruler and responsible for our country's striving and blooming and gaining in mass." Ludwig recited and Gilbert could hear the roll of his eyes in is words because he had hammered that sentence into his mind since the first day Ludwig had been with him. A tiny smile flickered over his lips.

"That is what I told you, correct. Very good." He praised Ludwig because really he lived for the proud blush on his cheeks and that small chest being pushed out. He shifted the boy a bit so he could sit more comfortably, elbow resting on the hard wood of his armrest, chin atop his closed fist.

"But there is more to that. We exist because our people believe in us. I am Prussia because my people _believe_ that Prussia exists and that they live in it and belong to it. Sometimes our names change but the ideas stay, as do the morals and beliefs, the crown and ceremonies and traditions, the treaties and constitutions and they still think of Prussia as Prussia, simply call it something else. Therefore, I stay." Gilbert made a break to give Ludwig time to think about that and mull it over, because he had learned that otherwise the boy would bombard him with questions otherwise.

A silent nod in return allowed him to continue.

"But sometimes not only the name changes. The country may split in two halves and those two halves have nothing in common with the original country. Thus, two new ones are born and the old one is forgotten until it dissolves into nothing." Gilbert could sense that Ludwig was not comfortable with his blunt words but he hadn't ever been good in sugar coating them.

"Simply as that?" The voice was small, the frown had returned to Ludwig's brow. This time there was more of a tilt to it and Gilbert knew the boy was worried rather than angry. And he also knew why. Ludwig was not really a country founded on papers and a crown but rather on the wishes and ideas of his people. There was no stability to his existence. Not yet.

A small smile tugged on his lips and he stood, ignoring the yelp from the boy and lifting him on his shoulder.

"You better not worry, though, baby brother." A snort at the name, a soft wack to the back of his head that was immediately stroked by small fingers as Gilbert strolled out of his office and down the long corridor of Sanssouci.

Because there was someone who would never forget about Ludwig.

Gilbert.

 **Poetry**

How Ludwig had gotten his hands onto that damn book was a mystery to Gilbert but if he should get his own hands on it he would burn it in his goddamn fireplace!

The boy had withdrawn completely, barely responding if anyone spoke to him, even… even going so far as to ditch Gilbert's attempts at playing with him for that damn book! And he must have finished it already, he must have! He never spent that much time on one single book!

Gilbert slumped his shoulders and glared out of the window at the park below where Ludwig sat curled up on one of the stone benches, eyes filled with an awe Gilbert had only ever seen directed at him as he turned the pages.

So what if he was jealous because of a book! Hah, a book! Dead tree with words printed on! It was nothing against him, the mighty, the most awesome Gilbert, Prussia himself!

And still when Ludwig came to him in the evening with that book pressed to his chest and _begging_ to meet Goethe, please, please, please, Gilbert doesn't have the heart to deny him so he travelled all the way to Weimar with the bouncy ball of nervous Ludwig to watch him stare in awe at someone else than him.

He sat through hour long discussions between the poet and his brother, listened as the boy talked about things he shouldn't know in his young age, listened and listened and listened until his head tipped back and he fell asleep.

He was woken by the time the sun had already set and they were to leave for their hostel room by a beaming Ludwig tugging on his sleeve. Gilbert blinked a couple of times and wiped his eyes, allowing Ludwig to chatter on as they gathered their things and say their goodbyes to Goethe and his wife. Ludwig mentioned something about Schiller and threw a longing glance at the house next door* and Gilbert had to bite his lip to not blurt out how happy he was that the man had already passed because he wouldn't survive another day such as this one.

"But you don't understand!" Ludwig couldn't sleep and apparently because he couldn't, Gilbert was to suffer the same fate. "Poetry is… poetry is so… If you read it you can feel it in your chest and your lungs and it fills you up like a good meal and warms you and… and…" he waved his hands around, kneeling on the edge of Gilbert's bed who had given up on making the boy go to sleep. He entertained him by raising a brow and reaching for the book Ludwig had been guarding like his most precious belonging.

" _Der Strauß, den ich gepflücket,  
Grüße dich vieltausendmal.  
Ich habe mich oft gebücket,  
Ach, wohl eintausendmal.  
Und ihn ans Herz gedrücket,  
Wie hunterttausendmal."* _

Gilbert glanced up at the excited boy and couldn't bring himself to admit that there was nothing in his chest or lungs or stomach, nor did he feel warm in any way. All he felt was damn tired. Even more so after that poem.

So, he closed the book, set it down and nodded. "It's…. very nice."

It was worth the lie when Ludwig's face split into a wide grin and the boy flopped onto his side to cradle the book close and go to sleep.

He would have to make sure not to teach him about the relationship of the word 'nice' and 'shitty' soon!*

* * *

(1)* Goethe and Schiller were two of Germany's most famous poets and actually lived next to each other at the end of their lives in Weimar, being a strange mix of friend and foe  
(2)* The poem is called "Blumengruß" ( _Flowergreeting)_ and the Translation goes something like this:  
 _The bouquet that I plucked,  
Greets you many thousand times.  
I bowed often;  
Oh, about one thousand times.  
And pressed it to my heart,  
Like a hundred thousand times."_  
It's not exactly one of his most famous poems, nor the most meaningful, so no wonder Gilbert wants to fall asleep ;)  
(3)* We have a saying in Germany that goes "Nett ist die kleine Schwester von Scheiße" which means _Nice is the little sister of shitty._ Basically saying that if someone asks for your opinion on something (let's say their outfit) and you replay with "nice" you actually wanna tell them they look like shit.


End file.
